closed book

So I'm not an open book.

I think we've all established that.

Sometimes I think its because I've always had secrets to keep and things to hide from the people around me, especially my friends, ever since I was young.

It was always something or another that I would strive to keep to myself because I was too ashamed to admit I'm different.

Either that or I just thought it wasn't worth the bother.

I remember opening up once to my friends in primary school and for some weird reason, they all thought I was lying.

I guess it isn't common, what used to go on in my life.

And I remember always being afraid of bringing friends over because I wanted to hide everything that I was afraid of.

And somehow, after all these years, when the situation has improved quite a bit, I'm still carrying these traits with me.

Talk about emotional baggage.

Its like the shutters are in front of me wherever I go.

Sure, there are blinds, so everyone can take an occasional peek into my inner depths.

But come a little further and wait, no, the blinds close again.

And all I'm trying to say is, I realise now that this is something pressing that needs to change in my life.

Its time to be a little more open.

Its time to open the book binding to a 180 degrees instead of the 45 degrees (I do correct myself, darlin') that Lizzy is so accustomed to.

The pages will turn easily, the words will be bigger.

No illustrations though.

A little mystery is still worth something every now and then.

I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I know there's something more I need in life.

Maybe it's time to go back to the right path.

But I know that's not the only thing.

There's something else missing, and I hope that whatever it is I'll find it soon.

Sinking, a little too fast. ~

P.S. I can't believe I just wrote such an EMO post! Oh well.