March hols

True to what Shereen said, I'm blogging once again, and its March! Haha.

So here goes my monthly entry.

So. My March holidays have been like WOAHHH.

I really don't know how it flew by, it feels so sudden.

Saturday was NUS open house, and after going there I just feel all the more confused cos I feel like I have a lot more options now. Initially I had my mind set on law but now I'm not so sure anymore. What in the world makes me think that I can go up against national debaters who can probably argue their way out of a life-threatening situation? I don't know, I just suddenly feel I'm not good enough for anything.

Imagine if I did history. While the undergrad did tell me that there are other prospects than teaching, I still don't feel very assured. How many people will end up being recruited by intelligence agencies? Probably only the cream of the crop. And am I the cream of the crop?

Alright, now say I wanted to take Lit. Lit is honest-to-god, something I'm really passionate about. But I seriously think I suck at it, at the rate I'm going, with the grades I'm getting. I'm getting nowhere, I'm constantly plunging and soaring I don't know what to expect anymore. I feel lost, its like I don't even know how to improve cos in those assignments that I feel I'm putting in effort for, I don't get the results. And then I get the results for some assignment we did in class that I thought was crap. How do I tell? So okay, I'm straying off topic. If I did Lit, the person said I could go into journalism because you need to be good in language but apparently journalism has terrible hours and terrible pay. So I guess you need to have the passion for it.

Ok and there are a few more options as well that I am not getting into. This is so tiring. God. I'm exposing myself so entirely and thoroughly its kinda scary. Even though theoretically I'm only exposing myself to myself. But people are gonna read this. Ugh, there's something wrong with me. So much for reading Tuesdays with Morrie and getting enlightened by it. Love each other or perish. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Sunday was Miss Azlin's wedding. Gosh I'm so glad I went! There's something refreshing about seeing your teacher getting married, all dressed up and being so demure. I felt so happy for her, and it was so good to see all my teachers again. As Soefie so rightly put, it was better than Teachers' Day! Haha, it certainly was. And who knew Mr Stephen Loh was such a good conversationalist? I certainly didn't know. He was making such an effort, and it was so easy to talk to him, I found myself being surprised. Hmm. The things you learn about your teachers after you graduate.

The rest of the week was quite a blur. Training, getting scorched by Mr. Golden Sun. Then with a terrible headache, went off to meet mom and sis and fren for dinner at Siam Kitchen. It was a good dinner, but I don't think their Thai food is all that great. I've tasted better (Lizzy!!).

Then Wednesday, competition. Ugh, don't wanna talk about it. It was terrible. But I'm feeling better about it now. Even though I know zh won't read this, thanks for the comforting words! We'll just have to keep training hard guys. June comp, here we come!

Today, finally, a day to slack. Gosh it was a gorgeous day. Love spending time at home lazing in front of the tv, not thinking about anything important even though there are lots of things to get done. I watched Prestige again on vcd! Love it, love it. Hugh Jackman is SO hot. But that's not why I love it. It's an excellent movie. I wanna read the novel. Yeah, like I'll ever get down to reading properly again. I miss reading!! SHEESH. The things education deprive me of.

K Hasim tmr. Shall go pack my bag now. I must not be late tmr. Personal pledge. Yes. Will be on time! :D