and so i've decided that maybe its time to start blogging again, on my long abandoned blog mostly used in jc.
So the thing that inspired me to start writing again is the fact that I'm leaving for Denmark in about less than 3 weeks, and I don't quite know what to make of it. I've talked to various people about my hopes and fears and I think the advice I remember most clearly is just to roll with things as they come. I suppose that's brilliant advice, but see, the only problem with that is that I'm a natural worrier. I worry about things that haven't happened, I've been accused of jumping to conclusions and my sister even tried to disown me for being unbearably kiasu. I can't help it- I was raised by two anxious parents in a very high strung environment, namely Singapore, and paranoia is not something you can shake off just cos you want to.
And it seems like I've drifted away from the main point of my post again, as I often tend to do because there are so many random thoughts swimming around in my head. Random. My mom says that's my new favourite word. I like the way it describes nearly everything people say that is not linked to the topic being discussed- and the satisfying way in which it rolls off your tongue, simple and yet summing up everything you feel. Especially if you add an American-accented twang to it.
Yes yes, I've gone off focus again. Where was I? Yes, Denmark, exchange, exciting new possibilities. I keep thinking that I won't make any friends, cos of how the culture there is so different from the culture here. The topic of drinking comes up again and again for me- will I be able to fit in if I don't drink? Is it really only possible to make tons of friends if I participate fully and indulgently in all their parties? I have no idea, and while I don't wanna compromise on my principles, I also have this little feeling stirring from somewhere inside me that I wanna let go fully while I'm there and not have as many inhibitions as I do here. Does that mean that my faith is not strong? I don't know. I was talking to a friend about it yesterday and he feels that its really a personal choice- if drinking doesn't make me feel like any less of the person that I am, then I should go ahead and do it. I'm confused and worried and partially annoyed with myself for even entertaining such thoughts.
Cheers, to all the good decisions I will make overseas. Hopefully.
So the thing that inspired me to start writing again is the fact that I'm leaving for Denmark in about less than 3 weeks, and I don't quite know what to make of it. I've talked to various people about my hopes and fears and I think the advice I remember most clearly is just to roll with things as they come. I suppose that's brilliant advice, but see, the only problem with that is that I'm a natural worrier. I worry about things that haven't happened, I've been accused of jumping to conclusions and my sister even tried to disown me for being unbearably kiasu. I can't help it- I was raised by two anxious parents in a very high strung environment, namely Singapore, and paranoia is not something you can shake off just cos you want to.
And it seems like I've drifted away from the main point of my post again, as I often tend to do because there are so many random thoughts swimming around in my head. Random. My mom says that's my new favourite word. I like the way it describes nearly everything people say that is not linked to the topic being discussed- and the satisfying way in which it rolls off your tongue, simple and yet summing up everything you feel. Especially if you add an American-accented twang to it.
Yes yes, I've gone off focus again. Where was I? Yes, Denmark, exchange, exciting new possibilities. I keep thinking that I won't make any friends, cos of how the culture there is so different from the culture here. The topic of drinking comes up again and again for me- will I be able to fit in if I don't drink? Is it really only possible to make tons of friends if I participate fully and indulgently in all their parties? I have no idea, and while I don't wanna compromise on my principles, I also have this little feeling stirring from somewhere inside me that I wanna let go fully while I'm there and not have as many inhibitions as I do here. Does that mean that my faith is not strong? I don't know. I was talking to a friend about it yesterday and he feels that its really a personal choice- if drinking doesn't make me feel like any less of the person that I am, then I should go ahead and do it. I'm confused and worried and partially annoyed with myself for even entertaining such thoughts.
Cheers, to all the good decisions I will make overseas. Hopefully.
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